Good advice

The piece of wisdom I repeated the most this year came from a reader of The Morning who answered my call for advice last December: “We are all juggling so many balls. Differentiate between glass balls and rubber balls — and don’t be afraid to drop the rubber balls.” Everyone with whom I shared this little gem seemed to find it useful (or maybe they were humoring me?). I’m not sure why this particular advice stuck with me — really, it’s just saying “learn to prioritize,” a colorful riff on “don’t sweat the small stuff.” For whatever reason, picturing the messy, ungovernable realm of worries and to-dos as rubber and glass balls helped me think more clearly in times of stress.

The best advice for how to live well, though, comes from other people, from their actual process of trying and failing and trying again. I asked you a few weeks ago for your best advice of 2024 and, as in previous years, your responses were so wise, so insightful and moving that I’m sorry I can’t share them all. I hope there’s some bit of insight in here that will provide you with clarity as you wind down this year and look ahead to the new one. I know there is for me.

The best advice you received:

Do something today your tomorrow self will thank you for. — Ava Shaffer, Cincinnati

The real game doesn’t start until the fourth quarter. I take it to mean that you are never out of time, and it is never too late to make a comeback. — Annelise Medina, Los Angeles

People who avoid their own feelings will neglect yours. — Jennifer Pagliaroli, Bethlehem, Pa.

If you have a plant with mealy bugs, spray it with rubbing alcohol. — Joli Holmberg, Minneapolis

Even one step a day gets you 365 steps farther in a year. — Andie Daniels, Charlottesville, Va.

It could be great? — Angela Southern, Pflugerville, Tex.

“Shake the tree,” my mom advised. “You never know what will fall out.” Put another way: It never hurts to ask. I shook the tree this year and some great things came about: a new mentor, a penalty waived for a late submission, a free plate of zeppoles. — Jennifer Suzukawa-Tseng, New York City

Attend funerals for relatives of people you don’t know really well. It is the kindest thing you can do for an acquaintance. — John Immerwahr, Bryn Mawr, Pa.

Stop thinking about your problems and make someone else happy. — Sonja Jewell, Leesburg, Va.

Don’t just put things back. Put them away. — Tracie McGinnity, Rochester, N.Y.

If you’re worried about something that really doesn’t matter and you know eventually you’ll say, “Who cares?,” why not just go straight to “Who cares?” — Kimberly Andersen, Old Bridge, N.J.

Instead of trying harder, try softer. — Martha Bonnie, Phoenix

Everything is better after you stretch. — Tal Hadani-Pease, Sherman, Conn.

If you’re going to procrastinate, do something you enjoy. — El’isha Allen, Abu Dhabi, U.A.E.

It’s never too late to have a good day. — Carolyn Kettler, Kansas City, Mo.

Go to the doctor! — Amy Henning, Palatine, Ill.

The only time you should look in someone else’s bowl is to see if they have enough. — Jess Wehmeier, Indianapolis

Love shows up. — Kathy Fry, Grosse Pointe, Mich.

Some seasons you produce fruit, some seasons you prune, and some seasons you let your roots grow deep. — Jonathan Berry, Berea, Ky.

When someone is interpreting your behavior or actions without a spirit of openness, de-escalate the conflict by saying, “I would appreciate it if you could be more generous with me.” It really works and leads to conversation, not argument. — Kate Fessler, St. Paul

Use up everything in your freezer. — Tess Hartman, Kennett Square, Pa.

The world is run by those who show up. — April Conway, Reno, Nev.

Retire as soon as you can. Time will always be your most valuable asset. — Julie Drew, Akron, Ohio

Get off Tinder. — Will Boone, New York City

If you’re unhappy, do something about it. If you are happy, do something about it. — Kelly King, Pittsburgh

There’s a connection between novelty and joy. — Jacqueline Lovell-Lantz, Sandy, Utah

Does it need to be said? Does it need to be said by me? Does it need to be said by me, now? — Astrid Moresco, Fort Collins, Colo.

Don’t look at your medical test reports before the doctor has a chance to explain them to you. — Melanie Mullins, Walden, N.Y.

Nothing is ever as good as you think it will be or as bad as you fear. — Gail Baron, Charlotte, N.C.

Does your houseplant make you feel happy? If you’re just keeping it alive out of a sense of obligation, let it go! — Mary Ann Carter, Kensington, Md.

Don’t be the one to tell yourself no. — Skye Verhofste, Des Moines

Sometimes the greatest act of kindness is to pretend you haven’t already heard that story before. — Sarah Schroeder, Grosse Pointe Woods, Mich.

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