Dad Jokes
 

•    My wife and I have decided not to have kids. The kids are taking it pretty badly.
•    When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent.
•    My daughter just shrieked at me, “Daaaaaad, you haven’t listened to a word I’ve said, have you?” What an odd way to begin a conversation.
•    I have a great joke about nepotism. But I’ll only tell it to my kids.
•    “Dad, can you explain to me what a solar eclipse is?” No sun.
•    What happened when the ten-year-old cannibal spilled his soup? His mother gave him an earful.
•    I’d like to have kids one day. I don’t think I could stand them any longer than that, though.
•    What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school? Bison.
•    I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet. I asked my eighteen brothers and sisters but they didn’t have any idea either.
•    My parents raised me as an only child. Which really annoyed my younger brother.
•    I tell dad jokes but I have no kids. I’m a faux pa!
•    A kid decided to burn his house down. His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, “That’s arson.”
•    Today I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the residents if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door on my face. My parents are the worst.